I've thought a lot about this need to have a perfectly clean, organized home. Is this really benefiting my kids?
I crave organization. When I walk into a clean home, I instantly feel peace and relax. But, when I'm working all day long (or at least most of it) trailing after my two children, picking up toys as they are playing them (more like as they're throwing them down the hall in defiance!), I know something isn't right. Relaxation, peace, and tranquility definitely do not describe how I feel after this.
My job is not a maid. As much as I cannot stand the word (thanks to my feminsta past), I am a homemaker, and more importantly, a mother! The way my home feels matters so much more than what it looks like.
By no means am I giving up basic cleaning - three year-old's and the "potty" are a scary combination. But, I am striving to make peace with the endless mounds of scattered toys, undone laundry, and green play-doh permanently stuck to the Wal-Mart decor. Perfection, in terms of cleanliness, is just not a reality with small children.
Instead of rushing around trying to de-clutter the world (our world), I'll be snuggling up with my kids on our couch -perfectly comfy, though it's scarred from pen attacks and grape juice- reading Curious George and Dr. Seuss, while being grateful that I can be involved in this amazing process of parenting.
How do you keep balance?
I spent the last week going through every single room in my house throwing out as much as possible. My house is sparking (well, until Molly woke up) my goal for the rest of the year is to try and keep the mess contained to the living room and Molly's room, then after bedtime take a few minutes to clean everything up quickly then spend the evening enjoying my clean house!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your adventures!
So I must be on the same page as you because I have been thinking this same thing a lot. If I could find a balance I'd be so stinken happy. It seems like everytime I come close something changes in our life to throw the balance off... Yet, I was talking with a woman the other day (complete stranger - but I thought you'd like what she said too) at our son's school and she was telling me how they were moving to be closer to their kids back east because their kids WANT them to be there with them. I asked her if she had any advise for a young mother who is trying to still figure things out and she told me, "I was always there for them. If the house was a wreck and they asked me to color, I forgot the house and went to color. In fact, the other day I was thinking about this and how I have no regrets because I did this." I have been pondering this a lot lately and had the thought that maybe just maybe I have to let the dirt stay still for a few minutes to be with my kids for just a few minutes and maybe, just maybe if I do this I'll find that a messy house is full of more peace then a clean one because I am where I am suppose to be (yeah, that is me trying to convince myself of that too)... Huh, weird thought, but maybe that is why the scriptures have the story of Mary Magdaline and Jesus at her house for super and her sister getting upset that she wasn't in the kitchen helping make it perfect... But man how I envy those mom's that have that balance so hopefully someone else has a clue how to do it... Hope you don't care that I posted my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn! I completely understand! I felt the same way (still do, on most occasions) but decided that being happy in our home was more important. But, it got to the point where I would become overwhelmed when I actually went about cleaning. I wouldn't know where to start because there was JUST SO MUCH. Then, I discovered flylady.net. If I haven't told you about it yet, go there! It is saving my life. My intellectual goal for myself this year is to learn to FLY. F-finally L-love Y-yourself. It starts with a few simple steps and I feel so much better! My kitchen is always clean. No lie. Always. And I spend 15 minutes a day de-cluttering/organizing/cleaning in each room. That's it. I get ready in the morning and then do a quick clean of each bathroom. The point is to avoid CHAOS. Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. My visiting teaching companion is... for lack of a better word... rudely blunt. She will come to pick me up and say things like "Wow, looks like a tornado ran through your house today." Yeah. Doesn't make me feel very good. I DARE HER TO COME IN NOW! It only takes a little while in the morning and I have all the time in the world for my children without feeling like what I need/want have to be disregarded. I'm sure you're much better than me, but I know this has helped me in SO many ways! Josh and I aren't arguing about dishes anymore because they are literally always done. Takes about 5 minutes to finish loading and kaput! It has helped our home. It is helping my kids, and I feel like a person again! Hope this helps!!!
ReplyDeleteone day at a time. one day at a time. you're great!
ReplyDeleteWhy are we not neighbors?! We are like the exact same person! I think and feel and go through the same things that I read about on your blog. But for me, I cannot seem to manage my time effectively and I don't really know how to change that! Grr. Well, rather than giving advice, I just wanted to say that I hear ya sister!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I love the picture by the way. The flower colors and arrangement are super cute.
Hey Carolyn! I haven't been good about keeping up with my friends blogs... but I'm back! And I haven't forgotten about you! I think ALL moms struggle with this, and we all think everyone else has it perfectly figured out, but that's not true. :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely do not have the magic answer. I think I'm doing good if I spend 30 minutes reading/playing with Ava each day. That sounds really sad, but that 30 minutes is one-on-one, just her. The rest of the day is filled with errands, naps, etc.
I know you are a great mother! I know I've never seen you with your kids, but I know you are a wonderful person and that you love the gospel and your children and that is what's important! :)
well done Miss Carolyn, well done
ReplyDeleteI just think that you are the best mom ever! No other mom is better than you! There you go! My two sense worth!
ReplyDelete